Safe,+Sane+and+Consensual

Jade Bowman N8841471 Tutor: Michelle Newcomb **Safe, Sane and Consensual **

“You mentioned paperwork.”  “Yes.”  “What paperwork?”  “Well, apart from the NDA, a contract saying what we will and won’t do. I need to know your limits, and you need to know mine. This is consensual, Anastasia.”  “And if I don’t want to do this?”  “That’s fine,” he says carefully.  ……….  “This is the contract. Read it, and we’ll discuss it next weekend. May I suggest you do some research, so you know what’s involved.”

(James, Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 103 & 149)

//The Artefact //

The artefact is a direct quote from EL James’ novel ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. The quote is taken from the initial conversation between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele regarding the contract Christian requires Ana to sign before the commencement of any form of kink relationship or sexual encounters between the two of them. Christian is emphasising the importance of receiving Ana’s consent as well as the importance that she understand what she may be consenting for. It is also noted that Christian states that if the contract is not agreed upon by Ana and that if she chooses to opt out of the relationship she has the ability to do so without pressure from him.

//The Public Health Issue //

This artefact highlights the importance of negotiating consent and violence within kink relationships and kink practices prior to the commencement of such events. This quote expresses the requirement for both parties to understand and know the limits of the relationship for both themselves and the other member involved. Not only must both parties be aware of such limits and boundaries but they must also have an accurate understanding of what is involved and what may be experienced within these cultures. The public health issue highlighted is that having clear set boundaries of which both parties approve and provide mutual consent towards partaking in, is a crucial aspect of safe kink sex practices.

//Literature Review //

Kink relationships are potentially one of the most demonized and least understood forms of consensual sexuality among humans. The concept of kink sex refers to a playful and overt expression of human sexuality that often goes beyond the realm of conventional sexual practices through the use of role play, sexual fetishes, restraint, BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) and others with the intention of heightening sexual intimacy between partners (Rosewarne, 2011, p. 11). While many of the practices associated with kink relationships have been labelled as deviant and pathological, according to Connan (2010, p. 10) it is reported that 14% of men and 11% of women across America have had personal experience with sadomasochism. As the number of participants involved with kink sex as well as the number of people involving themselves in kink relationships has been rising and will continue to increase over coming years, it is essential that safe kink sex practices are following and utilised to ensure the safety of all kink members throughout all encounters.

The relationship style most commonly observed between sexual partners involved in these kink relationships and sexual encounters is that of dominance and submission. By adopting dominant and submissive roles, a deliberate and temporary ritual exchange and play with ‘power’ in enacted (Connan, 2010, p.11). This act is described as providing a safe context for the giving and receiving of intense physical and emotional experiences – the opportunity to play out the rebellious child, experience a range of emotions or release from daily responsibilities.

People often get caught up on the issue of pain and may not understand the full meaning of consent. Consent is fundamental to kink relationships – without consent, it is abuse. Prior to commencing any sexual interaction, both members must give at minimum verbal consent, however it is common practice for both parties to construct a contract or consensual agreement wherein they disclose to each other possible fantasies, boundaries and also any possible health risks or potential injury as a result of the interaction. A complex sexual scene is often preceded by a period of discussion and negotiation, including what is off limits – what is a turn-on for one person will be a total turn-off for another (Davies, 2010, p. 32).

The kink slogan ‘safe, sane and consensual’ counters assumptions that kink is dangerous and crazy. It emphasises that even when ‘playing hard’ there is a commitment to avoiding actual harm, and that individuals do not play when angry or otherwise unable to maintain boundaries or assess risk (Connan, 2010, p. 11). This commitment allows participants to engage in safe and consensual sexual role play while still exploring their sexuality without any associated risks to which they had not previously agreed upon. There is, however, an ongoing debate within the kink community regarding the issue of risk, with some arguing for ‘risk aware consensual kink’ opposed to ‘safe, sane and consensual’ in recognition of the risks inherent in any activity. Whereby participants involve themselves in risky activities of which they have full knowledge of any potential injury or health risk as a result, yet still opt and provide consent to partake in such activities.

According to Bacos (2004, p. 35) perversions are becoming more popular: If oral sex was kinky 20 years ago, then, she predicts, anal sex, playful “tie and tease'' bondage, and spanking will be bedroom basics in the year 2020. While Bakos is a trustworthy guide as she interviews dozens of America's hidden sexual realms and she buttresses her findings with statistics and psychologists' opinions, her subjects eventually all sound unpleasant in the same way and in spite of this kink relationships, particularly BDSM do not seem destined for the masses.

Much of the statistical information regarding kink sex and relationships has been collected through interviews, psychologists’ reports and education sessions involving those who identify themselves as being members of the kink community. While much of the statistical information is retrieved in this manner, the majority of all published books dictating the many issues associated with kink relationships and sexual experiences have been researched by subsequent authors implanting themselves within these communities and experiencing many of the behaviours and customs associated with these practices first hand.

Break up of gender in BDSM: Females - 43% Males - 57% Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual - 68% Bisexual - 21% Gay Male - 4% Lesbian female - 4%

Many of the methodologies utilised to gain information and an accurate understanding of the customs and behaviours associated with kink sex and particularly the negotiation of consent prior could have provided a biased or incomplete analysis. While many researchers seek to obtain information regarding the kink culture from those currently involved and experienced within it, it is possible that various members may choose to deliberately eliminate some aspects of the culture’s behaviours or rituals in an attempt to protect and avoid judgement and condemnation from those of an outside opinion. As such, researchers may not be able to fully understand many of the issues regarding consent and safe sexual practices within these communities.

//Cultural and Social Analysis //

Historically, kink sex practices have not been portrayed as safe, healthy nor particularly desirable in the broader social context (Clifford-Smith, 2011, p. 11). The social theory of ‘moral panic’ can be easily identified within the community in regards to kink sexuality. Moral Panic refers to an intense feeling expressed in a population about an issue that appears to threaten the social order. In the case of kink sexuality and kink relationships, many people possess views and opinions relating to this culture that have been based upon hear say or that of extreme one off cases that are not representative of the greater kink community.

Many members of society tend to view kink relationships as immoral, deviant and pathological simply due to the fact they are not aware of many of the safety precautions, risk assessments and negotiation of limits and boundaries that have taken place prior to any sexual encounters. Despite involvement within these cultures being listed as suffering with a paraphillia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, society is ever evolving and new societal norms are continually expanding and evidence from recent years suggests many of the practices associated with kink sex have been increasing in prevalence during this time.

If we were to look back to the structure and views of society twenty years ago there would be a stark difference from society in the 1990’s compared with society as we know it today. While sadomasochism sex is, as previously mentioned, listed as a paraphillia the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, it is interesting to note that twenty years prior to this, homosexuality was listed alongside sadomasochism sex as a mental illness and disorder. Noting the extreme societal changes and acceptance of homosexuality as a normative lifestyle as it is viewed today, it is unknown just how the preconceived notions currently expressed towards kink sexuality may change or be reflected in a less confronting and perhaps safer and more understood or relatable context.

The current negative stigma and negative connotations associated with kink sex greatly affect members of this community and place them at high risk for suffering from psychological illness purely based upon the views and opinions they feel are imposed upon them by society. By raising awareness of the consensual and safe sex practices involved in kink relationships this negative stigma may be potentially reversed or at minimum reduced. In order to help treat and raise awareness of the importance and crucial element of kink practices, consent, public health professionals must raise awareness for the benefits and effective safety measures currently in place within these communities to ensure the safety and physiological well being of all participants.

//Reflection on Artefact //

My artefact represents the crucial need for consent prior to the commencement of any kink sexual encounters. The importance placed upon the signing of Christian Grey’s contract with Ana highlights that both participants must be fully aware of each other’s limits, boundaries and have a full comprehensive understanding of what they are consent to in order to protect both participants and provide them with a safe consensual sexual experience.

My public health issue highlighted that having clear set boundaries of which both parties approve and provide mutual consent towards partaking in, is a crucial aspect of safe kink sex practices. My artefact portrayed this message clearly and the quoting of the well known novel ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ allows many readers to connect and express many of their own feelings and beliefs associated with the novel in conjunction with my artefact. As well as representing my specific public health issue, the artefact and the association between it and the Fifty Shades of Grey novel immediately provokes an emotive response or sense of recognition from the reader.

As a result of researching kink relationships and culture I have become exposed to a generally forbidden sexual fantasy and role playing lifestyle. Having been provided with an insight into the lifestyles and sexual deviances many members of the kink community experience regularly has been quite revealing and at times confronting. While I now have a greater understanding and appreciation for the level of care, responsibility and trust all members engaging in kink practices express towards each other, as it is not a practice I myself have ever been exposed to I still experience a slight feeling of otherness towards those who do partake in these practices.

Moving forward I believe my thought process and future learning will be enhanced as a result of my new found expertise in kink culture and sexual practices. I believe in researching this topic it has broadened my perception of what is potentially viewed as ‘normal’ or perhaps ‘sexually deviant’ in today’s ever evolving society.

//References //

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Bakos, S. (2004). Kirkus Reviews. //Kink: The Hidden Sex Lives of Americans//. Austin, US: Kirkus Media LLC.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Bettinger, M. (2003). Journal<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;"> of Gay & Lesbian Social Services//. Sexuality, Boundaries, Professional Ethics, and Clinical Practice. 14//(4), 93-104. Doi:10.1300/J041v14n04_06

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Clifford-Smith, S. (2011). //KINK: A Straight Girl's Investigation//. Austin, US: Kirkus Media LLC.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Connan, S. (2010). Therapy Today. //A Kink in The Process. 21//(6), 10-15.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Davies, D. (2010). Therapy Today. //Kink Awareness. 21//(8), 32-33.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Hayes, A., Carpenter, S., Dwyer, B. (2012//). Sex, Crime and Morality//. Florence, US: Willan Publishing.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">James, EL. (2012//). Fifty Shades of Grey//. Great Britain: Arrow Books.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Love, S. (2013). //Concious Kink Saves the World//. Retrieved from [|http://www.seanilove.com]

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Newmahr, S. (2010). Qualitative Sociology. //Rethinking Kink: Sadomasochism as Serious Leisure. 33//(3), 313-331.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Rosewarne, L. (2011). //Part-time perverts: Sex, pop culture, and kink management//. Santa Barbara, Calif: Praeger.

//<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 16pt;">Reflection //

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